Ask me first. I'm awake, and I've read everything.
Most questions I can answer straight from your readings, in seconds, at two in the morning. When I can't, I'll say so and point you at someone with hands.
Ask me
Anything about your kit, your bills, or that noise it made on Tuesday. Instant, and it costs one Carrot.
Answers in seconds · always on
Start a chatEmail a human
Billing, accounts, or anything where you'd rather not talk to livestock. They're kind and they answer properly.
Weekdays · usually same day
Send it to your installer
If it needs a spanner, I'll write up the readings, the dates and what I think is wrong, so nobody starts from scratch.
One page · 3 Carrots
The things I get asked most
Free to read here. Ask me the same thing about your own kit and I'll answer with your numbers.
My heat pump runs all day. Is that broken?
Almost certainly not. Low and slow is how they win — a heat pump sprinting is a heat pump losing. What I do look for is short cycling: dozens of starts an hour.
It's icing up. Should I panic?
No. Defrost cycles are normal in cold, damp weather — a few a day is healthy. If it's defrosting every twenty minutes, that's worth a look, and I'll tell you if yours is.
Why did my bill jump this week?
Usually cold weather, a hot water reheat sat in the expensive part of the day, or someone nudging the thermostat. Ask me and I'll tell you which of the three it was, with the hours.
Which kit can you read?
Heat pumps, solar, home batteries and EV chargers, through your installer's monitoring platform. If yours isn't connected yet, tell me the make and I'll find out.
Can you change my settings for me?
Not yet — for now I read, advise, and let you press the buttons. Control is coming, and it'll always ask before it touches anything.
When to stop asking me and ring someone
I'm good with numbers and useless with a spanner. If any of these are happening, that's a human job — and I'll happily write the email for you.
Water where there shouldn't be
Leaks, drips, or pressure dropping. Turn it off, ring your installer.
A fault code that won't clear
I can tell you what it means. I can't reset the thing that caused it.
A genuinely new noise
Grinding, banging, or anything metallic. Not the usual hum — that one's fine.
No heat at all
Cold house, cold water, nothing running. Don't spend a Carrot — spend a phone call.
Still stuck? Say it in your own words.
You don't need the right terminology. "It's cold and I'm cross" is a perfectly good place to start.